Our differences are what makes us special!
Each one of us is unique to earth born with different qualities. When we notice one another, we begin to see that we are also distinctive in our own right, although we are all one. If we understand the concept that we are individuals, why are so many of us trying to be someone else? We must ask ourselves, what is the need to be like other people? One would think that to be born an apple; one would enjoy being an apple. So then why are so many of us trying to make ourselves go from Apples to Oranges?
There seems to be something at our fundamental level that drives us to want to fit in and be like others.
If we take Sigmund Freud’s idea of the ID, Ego, and Super Ego, we understand that a part of it functions on a primary level inside our mind. The ID is the animal part of our brain. It drives us to act without thinking and consequence. The ID makes us want things such as sex, survival, material items, and a need to be desired, just to name a few. The ID is also aggressive and forceful and will push its weight around when it wants something. Our Ego is supposed to tame the ID from its unrealistic desires to a more rational way of acting. The Super-Ego, according to Freud, is the guilt and shame that we feel in the brain. It acts as the parent to the Ego and ID.
If we agree with his theory, which some of Freud’s theories I do not, then we are to understand that when we chase the ideas of relationships, friendships, and needing to fit in and be accepted that we are acting in a primal and basic need.
Sigmund Freud’s Structural Model…
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment…
Society is not fair. For women, our society does a fantastic job of making us feel less superior. We live in a patriarchal society where women are to learn to follow, not lead. There are hundreds of beauty magazines that remind us how to look and act. We must work harder to accomplish the same status in life, and we are supposed to look dainty and feminine. Although men have it more comfortable, they are still under pressure by the same laws. Men are expected to be tall and muscular, be into sports, make money, and be in control to be called a man. When these ideas of pressure systematically surround us at such a young age, our brain’s primal forces start to take control of our personality. Living in our primal instincts is why so many of us are unhappy with who we are.
If we take an example of a short, skinny man who shows emotions, we judge him and say he’s not a man. Any woman being larger than a size six, not feminine in looks, and prefer a career over having children is too masculine. These judgments stand firm in our society and must be shown that they are false. It is in our nature as human beings to wonder and want more. As kids, our imaginations were wide open, and we liked who we were until we experienced ideas such as popularity and acceptance. It was then that we told ourselves that being who we are wasn’t good enough anymore. For us to be accepted, we had to think, act and look like popular people. Now starts our life-long journey of chasing people, relationships, ideas, and success to support the need that we are special.
I was born an apple!
As a child, I loved being an apple. I never thought anything less of who I was until I reached kindergarten. I then saw the world was a variety of apples, oranges, peaches, grapes, etc. Being different from others, I was teased and made fun of and made to feel separated due to who I was. It went on for so many years that I believed it by the time I was in sixth grade. I didn’t want to be an apple anymore. I wanted to be an orange or peach because those were the ones well accepted.
It took me many years of chasing others to realize that being who I am was great and wonderous! That just because I’m not like them doesn’t mean I don’t have something to offer. I realized that it’s not about being or feeling special; it’s about being comfortable with and loving who you are and there is no need to go from apples to oranges.
What do we compare?
An apple has more fiber, vitamin K, manganese, and quercetin. Oranges have less natural sugars, more vitamin C, B-6, and folate. One is not better than the other; they are both unique in their own right. Both have a lot to offer the world, and they do not try to be like the other. Eating both in your diet brings you a healthier lifestyle, and you cannot say one is more impressive than that other. We must learn to love being the person that we are.
If I’m open, I can say there is a fair share of people that do not like me. Why? Because I think differently, and I live my life for me and follow my dreams. It’s ok for others not to understand or like who I am because my life is about me, not them. I’ve accepted all the corky, fun-loving traits about my personality that others don’t like. Every day I see that who I am made me love myself that much more. After all, we must remember that an apple cannot become anything other than an apple no matter how hard we wish to go from Apples to Oranges.
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